The regulars you've never spoken to still make a place feel like yours

What is a familiar stranger?

Zahnow and Corcoran describe familiar strangers as people who are "visually recognisable yet do not engage in verbal conversations." The commuter on your train. The person walking the same dog through the same park. You don't know their name, and they probably don't know yours.

Those relationships tend to get dismissed. The authors call them "invisible social ties and light touch community," and suggest they could help offset rising loneliness.

One thing to be clear about up front: this was a survey. Nobody arranged who'd meet whom. The researchers asked people about what was already happening in their lives.

What 278 people in Brisbane reported

The study, published in Urban Studies, is based on a 2022 intercept survey of 278 Brisbane residents, conducted in person at public parks, transit stations, retail environments and thoroughfares. Regression models estimated how familiar strangers and frequency of visits related to belonging and attachment to a place.

The result is that "belonging emerges through familiar stranger encounters in everyday communal places outside of the residential neighbourhood." So you don't have to live nearby or know your neighbors. The shop you keep returning to and the route you always walk can count.

The authors also offer planners a suggestion: pair urban design that enhances visible proximity with scheduling that encourages repeated, synchronized visits. That's their inference from the findings, and it wasn't separately tested.

What this study can't tell us

• It covers one city, 278 people and one year.
• It's cross-sectional, so it can only show association. People who already feel they belong may simply notice familiar faces more.
• Everyone was intercepted in public places, so they don't represent all residents.
• A city with different density and habits, Taipei for one, might not look like this.

Recognizing a place, not keeping tabs on people

This part deserves its own line. Familiar strangers are about you slowly getting to know a place. They have nothing to do with noting who shows up where and when. The study's own method was asking people face to face how they felt, and it wasn't tracking who went where.

That line matters, because the other person may not want to be remembered at all. So keep the focus on your returning to the place, and off of them. Recognizing a face is nice. Watching someone isn't.

If you want a sense of how differently the other person may experience this, read this too.

If you're new somewhere, here's a small start

If you've just moved and feel like there's nobody to call, this study offers a small and very doable start. You don't need to know anyone yet. Let a place get to know you first.

• Pick somewhere you already like: a coffee shop, a bar, a regular event.
• Go at about the same time, a few times in a row.
• You don't need to talk. A nod or a smile is plenty, and it's fine if nobody returns it.

When you do feel like talking, you'll already have something to say. "Is it always this busy on Wednesdays?" works fine. There's more in how to start a conversation at a bar or event, and repeated practice is also what shifts people's expectations of strangers. Here's that research.

If your regular spot is a bar or an event, you can also try Limere to meet people at the same place. Want more places to go back to? Start with upcoming events. You don't have to become a regular overnight. Just go back.